Gold (a collection)

i.

Your laugh is bright as shining gold,
Your smile sparkles, teeth of pearls.
Your eyes of aquamarine glow,
A twinkle when you see me so.

Your voice sends shivers down my spine,
Your glance of flames, of like desire.
Your lips near mine, entwined wires,
A closeness I had longed to hold.

You walk like a master of your craft,
Your lingering echoes on our hands.
Your welcome guidance on shoreland,
A forbidden travel I hadn’t known.

Your clueless goodbyes,
Your greetings, so right,
Your wrongness, alright…

A betraying dream.
A poisoned reverie.

ii.

I love you. I loved you.
Did you know?

You couldn’t have known.
Did you, though?

Emotions, potions—
I brewed in hidden nights.

Masterpieces painted
In the essence of your breath.

But now I see: it must have been you,
The true artist all along.

Oh, what if you knew?
Oh god—you had to have known.
Did you?

iii.

Your hands, paradoxically wrong on mine,
And the scenes I know you saw in your mind.

I looked like a goddamn child,
Playing with daydreams, fantasies, desires.

You watched me smile and giggle and twirl,
Wrapped around your gentle fingers.

Convinced myself
You could never have known.
Because if you knew,
You were simply—
Playing me for a fool.

And the worst part of it all?
I would go on letting you.

iv.

You were aware all along
Weren’t you?

All my life,
I’ll never escape

For I fell in love,
And you knew.

v.

The touch forever stains my soul,
The ways your eyes scanned me like so,
The smile with intentions below,
The warmth of your body against my own,
The emotions you knew I held alone,
The heart you went ahead and stole…

I’ll live to despise you,
Loathe you,
Adore you,
Abhor you,
Think the very world of you.

You’ll go on
Using me,
Abusing me,
Choosing me,
Losing me,
Tethering yourself to me.

I’ll antagonize you,
You’ll advantage from me.

A villain and an
Everlasting fantasy.

A touch of fool’s gold
And a heart deceived.